“The screaming gentleman on the sideline, is that your parent?”

Who doesn’t know them, the parents that on Saturday and Sunday re-live very loudlytheir own sports ambitions through their children on the sidelines and by doing so are convinced that this will lead to a phenomenal performance by their children?

These parents aren’t only seen as a hindrance for other parents, they also do not hesitateto be aggressive towards opponents, referees, coaches and other parents. Above all they do not realize that all fun, pleasure and motivation is being taken away from their child!!

This behavior has happened throughout my career as a professional coach and DOC at the youth level. Recently our club has been experiencing this behavior to a much greater extent than I consider acceptable I have observed  and been informed  of  some parents that do not want  follow the guidelines described in our parent code of conduct---------

Coaching from the sidelines during practices and games, quarreling with referees,  coaches, other players or parents is just NOT ACCEPTABLE and WILL NOT be tolerated because these parents do not only embarrass themselves but their children and the club they represent.

Are you a good soccer parent?

We all know parents who:

- Put too much emphasis on winning instead of having fun and learning.

- Are forcing their child to play a certain position.

- Are constantly criticizing their child.

- Keep yelling directions during practices and games.

- Arguing with referees, other coaches and parents.

- Feel because they have maybe coached a couple of’ rec’ teams they are a better coach than the actual LCENSED PROFESSIONAL.

- Always see the bad, never the good.

The conduct of the parents on the sideline dictates the enjoyment and progress of the player. FACT

What should players expect?

What they want:

- That their parents watch them play and appreciate their efforts.

- They get support and encouragement.

- They have pleasure playing soccer.

- To know that their parents are proud of them.

- Parents to have realistic expectations.

- To learn and get better.

- Be with their teammates.

What players certainly do not want?

- Yelling and screaming parents.

- Abusive language towards referee, coaches and players.

- Being put under  huge pressure to perform.

- Criticism of their play.

What you should do as a parent: 

- encourage your child

- Acknowledge their effort and encourage them to compete to their maximum, being  a competitor is way more important than being the best player as it builds character and will make you very proud of your child whatever level they play at.

- don’t let” DID YOU WIN?” be your first question, ask DID YOU HAVE FUN? WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

- keep good contacts with your coach.

- support your child wherever possible: play (not train!!!!) soccer with them at home, at the fields. Come and watch them play; make sure they have the proper gear.

- encourage them to practice as much as possible with a ball (juggling, kicking against a wall, and pick up games with friends….) I cannot over emphasis the importance of self teaching---- coaches get a maximum of 41/2 ours a week with the players. We can show them but they must WANT to get better. On their own.

How to communicate with your child’s coach:

- In the company of other parents, players always support the coach.  Do not constantly question what the coach is doing   regarding positions and substitutions.

- After a practice or game is not a good time to have a discussion with the coach, it is better to set up an appointment.

- When speaking to the coach:

Listen to the coach’s point of view.

Explain your own ideas. Always keep the door open for further discussions.

- Parents and coaches each have their own responsibilities towards the player those

differences must be clear for the player.

How to deal with referees:

- I have never seen a referee change his mind on a call because a parent complained. The call is the call.

- Most referees are volunteers and get a very minimal stipend.

If you think you can do a better job, please go take the course. We always need good referees - think about this; Maybe your child is a referee now or will be one in the future. Without referees there will no be games. If we keep chasing them away it might result in less qualifiedreferees.

LEAGUE PLAY

Helpful suggestions for parents:

Before the game;

- Keep telling your child how proud you are off them regardless of the score.

- Don’t say winning is not important because for your child it is. A healthy

competitiveness is good.

- Encourage the player “go for it “, “apply what you learned”, have fun!

During the game:

- Do not coach from the sidelines the coach gives enough instructions.

- Encourage all individual and team actions applaud GOOD PLAY.

- Avoid negative remarks where players can hear you.

- CONTROL YOURSELF leave referees other parents and players alone.

- Players are often ashamed at the behavior of their parents.

After the game:

- Thank and congratulate the other team and referees - show fair play.

- Give compliments on what you saw … great 1 vs. 1, great give and go, you didn’t play kick ball.

- If your child lost the game bring the positive actions to their attention.

- Keep the conversation with other parents positive, and do not criticize in front of other players.

On the way home:

- Discuss the good actions your child made. Do not point out mistakes. The coach will do that.

- Keep in mind when speaking amongst parents on the phone or in the car that we do not criticize other players or coach. This will indirectly influence your child’s behavior and opinion.

The most important questions are:

- Did you have fun?

- Do you think you gave 100%?

- What did you learn from this game?

- Which play or goal did you think was the best one?

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR A SOCCER PARENT

1. I will never put my child under pressure it is his soccer not mine.

2. I accept the talent of my child and do not put my expectations too high.

3. I will encourage my child to follow the rules and decisions from the referee and coach.

4. I stand behind the decision of the coach certainly in front of mine or other children.

5. I represent myself in an exemplary way and I am a role model for fair play, I do not get carried away with disappointment and over excitement.

6. I have respect for all youth players regardless of their skill, gender or cultural background...

7. I appreciate the help of volunteers.

8. I will never embarrass my child by yelling and screaming on the sidelines.

9. I will never criticize my child’s play; I know how much they love the game of soccer.

10. I respect the decisions of DOC and club, as they are thinking long term about the development of the players and the club.

PLAYER DEVELOPMENT AND PHILOSOPHY

Our vision  is for player development to be our  main focus.

The focus is on technique and more directly on basic technique. Most of the practice  time will consist of the individual and their ball competence in basic technique. We concentrate on the individual to make the collective better. As players become more proficient the emphasis on tactical play will get introduced., even though technical ability will still be practiced every day. Sometimes however it will be necessary to revisit various technical skills before we can go forward.

A. Practices:

All coaches will teach age appropriate curriculums   and will progress in relation to the players ability and desire to learn.

1. WARM UP.

These topics will be applied at every practice : individual, small group, whole team. This triangle will always show up at warm up. Here is the focus on the fact that all players get maximum touches on the ball. We consequently try to control the 1vs1 situations in the game and therefore create players that can make a difference.

2. END OF PRACTICE

Players catch their breath and recap the topic of the practice. We always try to finish the practice on a positive note. Making the players want to come back, and they leave with a good attitude and feeling.

B. THE GAMES;

The players get the proper instructions before the start of the game. Line up and tactical formations.

Each player gets instructions according to his position. These instructions are limited as we want to encourage the player’s individual decision making and spontaneity on the field. If a wrong decision was made they will be corrected. Be patient as they are not complete players and WILL make NUMEROUS mistakes as they learn

The player has plenty on his mind without the extra instruction from his parents. You may be giving the WRONG instruction !!!!

IN CLOSING:

Together with all of the coaches I am committed to providing the most professional and in depth training program for our players. I take great pride in what I do as a professional Soccer Coach please ply your part in supporting what we do at this club with passion but with class.